These are serious times in which we live. But we can choose to focus on the positive or the negative. Since we are in the holiday season, I thought I’d give you something to lighten your load.
Theme Songs for Bible Characters
Noah: “Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head”
Adam and Eve: “Strangers in Paradise”
Lazarus: “The Second Time Around”
Esther: “I Feel Pretty”
Delilah: “Bad Girls”
Job: “I’ve Got a Right to Sing the Blues”
Moses: “The Wanderer”
Jezebel: “The Lady is a Tramp”
Salome: “I Could Have Danced All Night”
Daniel: “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”
Joshua: “Good Vibrations”
Jeremiah: “Joy to the World”
David: “Dancing in the Streets”
The Macedonians: “All the Gold in California”
Peter: “I’m Sorry”
Peter: “Walk on the Water”
Prodigal Son: “Life in the Fast Lane”
Samuel: “Eli’s Coming”
Esau: “Born to be Wild”
The Three Hebrew Children: “Great Balls of Fire!”
Judas: “Bat out of Hell”
The Kings at Bethlehem: “When You Wish Upon a Star”
Jonah: “Got a Whale of a Tale”
Elijah: “Up, Up, and Away”
Getting Older Lines
– Now that I’m older…here’s what I’ve discovered. I started out with nothing…I still have most of it.
– When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
– I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
– Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
– All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
– If all is not lost, where is it?
– It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
– The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
– I went to school to become a wit, only got half-way through.
– It was all so different before everything changed.
– Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
– Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.
– I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few…
– It’s not the pace of life that concerns me, it’s the sudden stop at the end.
– It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
– The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
– If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
– Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which on can die.
– It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.
Finally…Tips Rejected by Martha Stewart
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of the people you don’t know.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off. Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be easier to spot on your bathroom carpet.
Forget planting flowers – buy silk ones and avoid watering them.
To remember your family, request that at your death, instead of flowers or memorials, they make a monthly payment on one of your credit cards.
I hope a few of these have brightened your day. A merry heart is a good thing. God loves a grouch, but He has more fun with those who have a sense of humor. Smile folks!